Metal Mayhem
by Aramintas world
Summary: Mildred discovers her powers of bringing things to life, in a rather amusing way. Meet the Anti-Hardbroom 2000 a custom doodled robot by Ruby Cherrytree, a robot that Mildred makes leap from the page into reality; to hunt down the unsuspecting HB.
1. Chapter 1 Giver of life

**AN: This was initially going to be a one shot but then I figured there was too much to put in one chapter, so it'll probably be two if not three. This one takes place in the third year and is a sort of alternative for the events with the drawing powers of 'The uninvited,' PM's and Reviews welcome as always.**

Mildred sat with the others in the secret room under the library; the DOBS hide out. Ruby was pouring over a large cluster of sheets of A3 paper and muttering to herself as she cross referenced and compared the various spreads.

"YES!" she suddenly proclaimed, causing everyone present to look up in interest. "What's up Ruby?" Fenella called to her, " I've finalised my plans for my radio, once it's made it doesn't require plugging into the wall, it's wireless and is powered by kinetic energy see?" everyone nodded in agreement, not entirely understanding what she had just said. Mildred put down her copy of their new potions textbook and went to join her friend, allowing her natural inquisitive nature to get the better of her, to take a look at the blueprints of the improvised device.

Ruby, delighted to have an interested audience for a change, began to fire information at her like a marksman in a shooting range.

Mildred did her utmost to try and keep up and process the whirlwind of facts being thrown at her, but she failed and confessed that she didn't really understand what Ruby was telling her. Her friend sighed while the rest of the group laughed, "Good old Mildred always says what's on her mind." Enid commented, attempting to draw attention away from the fact that she had no clue what Ruby was talking about either.

"Well it doesn't matter, as long as it works you won't have to understand it," Ruby interjected realistically, half sticking up for Mildred's lack of intelligence, half voiding the potential feelings of superiority that might have been working their way to Enid's head.

"Hey what's this?" Mildred asked, plucking at the corner of a sheet that was poking out of the pile, and glancing at the illustration on it, "Anti-Hardbroom machine?" she read off the top of the paper, "What's one of those?" she asked with a laugh. Ruby pulled the plan from her grasp and laid it out flat on the work surface, "Just a fun idea I had that's all, I doubt it would really work, HB'd just zap it like everything else she doesn't like." She said dejectedly, "not unless it was HB magic proof," cut in Griselda as she surveyed the plans, "like the idea, but doubt we'd find a spell even in these books for that sort of thing."

Filled with wishful thinking the group dispersed as the bell rang somewhere high above them; break was over. Mildred took one last look at the illustration, thinking about how funny it would be if it could be real.

She blinked. 'Huh,' the drawing had gone. 'that's odd' she mused. Before she had further chance to investigate Jadu called to her, "Come on Millie, we'll be late for Chanting."

"Coming." She replied, checking that it wasn't her imagination and that the drawing really had gone. Sure enough it had vanished. She shook her head, 'weird, it cant have just vanished,' "Millie," Jadu interrupted her thoughts, "Alright I said I'm coming." And this time she went, racing up the stairs with the others to sing out of key with their eccentric chanting teacher.

Xxx

Constance left the staffroom in unusually high spirits, she hadn't had the misfortune of teaching the third years yet and she was certain that her mood wouldn't hold out for long. As she was clip clopping her way along the corridor to the potions lab, or as some called it her second bedroom, she heard the unmistakable sound of whirring cogs. "Well, well, what's our little genius cooked up this time?" she asked without purpose and without audience, for the corridor was empty.

She turned to face the source of the noise; it was coming from the direction of the library. "DOBS no doubt." She said to herself, wondering what hair brained non witch contraption had been created this time and unleashed on the world.

As she rounded the corner the most extraordinary sight met her eyes. She was now nose to nose with the AH 2000. She peered in disbelief at the monstrosity that confronted her. "AH 2000, what an odd name." She voiced her opinion as she read the brass plate fastened securely to the front of the Mildred shaped machine, wondering why it would have such a name, 2000 for the year made sense but AH, why not MH, that seemed more appropriate. Then she read the tiny phrase in brackets beneath the name: _'Anti-Hardbroom millennium edition- Hubble approved'_

Constance reread the label, and then looked the machine up and down, walking round it deliberately as she did so, subconsciously trying to intimidate it because she viewed it as a threat.

The machine itself was sleek and lifelike in almost every way, the grey exterior metal giving off an ethereal shine that gave the skin a lifelike appearance. It was perfect down to the uneven plaits and undone boot laces. The eyes stood out from the head like bright beacons in a monotone ocean, such was the intensity of their colour. They gave her the creeps; it was almost as if they were watching her. "Well, there's no doubt who you belong too, that is if you aren't Mildred Hubble yourself, after the art week incident that wouldn't surprise me." She said to it, unaware that the machine before her was running a voice and retina match against its target.

As she finished her sentence the mechanical Mildred said in a grating voice, "Target confirmed, commence hunt."

"Commence what?"

As it recognised its programmed nemesis it stretched out its hand and sent a bolt of electricity at Constance, causing her to buckle from the knees and greet the stones beneath her with a painful hello.

Flustered she rapidly pulled herself up from the floor and sent a puffification spell in her customary manor; from the pinky and index fingers of each hand.

Satisfaction briefly flared within her, then was dashed against the rocks when the orange beam had no effect on the machine. In fact the attack had done little more than to convince the robot that it was doing the right thing.

(Unbeknown to Mildred and Constance Ruby had included a brain that could think for itself in the plans and it had come complete with a full set of reasons as to why it should hunt down Miss Hardbroom. It had also been programmed with a full list of identities, copied of course from the often unattended filing cabinet of Miss Cackle's office.)

Constance was now afraid; she couldn't defeat a steel plated machine that was impervious to magic, not when it wielded that dangerous non magic thing called electricity. No the only thing she could think of was to run; something she had never done in her life.

Turning on her heel, she fled down the corridor with the AH 2000 in hot pursuit, sparks narrowly Missing her head as it endeavoured to hit a moving target, still warming up its aim.

In her panic she had subconsciously run to the staffroom. As she realised her whereabouts it struck her that her colleagues would be in danger if it followed her here; no she would have to find somewhere else. Before anyone could question her as to why she was charging about like a headless chicken he threw open the door and disappeared down another corridor.

After a few minutes of intense running, she stopped threw open a side door and shut the door firmly behind her. Breathing heavily she waited a moment, then tentatively opened the door ajar to find that her pursuer was nowhere to be seen, and the tell tale whirring couldn't be heard either. She breathed a sigh of relief, shutting the door again and leaning heavily on the frame.

As she gazed at the ceiling she became acutely aware of a low murmuring. Curious she looked down to find to her horror Lavinia and the whole of the third year gawping at her, gossiping amongst themselves as to why she was interrupting their class.

"Is everything alright Constance dear, you seem a little out of breath?" asked the ever concerned Lavinia, "Did Imogen take you on one of her cross country runs, I keep telling her exercise isn't good for elderly witches." she stopped dead at the look on Constance's face. The witch straightened up and said in indignation, "No Lavinia I have not been running with Miss Drill," then she added as an afterthought, "and I'm not old."

Most of the class refrained from laughing at her childish remark; those who didn't soon were silenced by the angry look HB shot at them.

Constance suddenly remembered which year this was and a smug smile lighted her face as she folded her arms across her chest.

"Ruby Cherrytree I would like to see you in Miss Cackle's office in 10 minutes regarding your latest technological escapade,"

Ruby looked puzzled, "what do you mean Miss Hardbroom?"

"Don't play dumb with me girl, I know your little game and I'll see to it you're dealt with."

And with that she bid Lavinia good day and stalked back out into the corridor, her close encounter forgotten for the time being, replaced by her ingrained hatred of disobedience and back chat.

Xxx

Miss Cackle jumped at her deputy's sudden entry, spilling half her cup of tea over her cheesecake and complaining loudly, "Really Constance what was that for?" she looked up to find the witch had gone, "Did you see the look on her face, she looked as though she had just seen a ghost, I think you should go talk to her Miss Cackle, she's clearly in distress." Miss Cackle hummed and dabbed the tea off her beloved confectionary, "We'd better not rush in too quickly and assume these things." she said, getting with difficulty to her feet, her natural concern overriding the logic of her words,

"but none the less I will talk to her immediately." the older woman paused few paces from the doorway and looked left and right; which way had she gone?

"She went left" called Miss Drill from the staffroom.

Just as she was about to embark on her search she heard a whirring sound, quite unlike any other she had ever heard before, 'what on earth is that noise?' she asked herself, Constance temporarily forgotten.

Around the corner, now wielding a large ended, long handled broom, clearly for use in melee combat, came the mechanical Mildred. "Mildred what on earth is wrong with you?" the witch enquired. The robot brain automatically ran an ID check at the sound of a new voice and matched it to Miss Cackle's profile. The notes clearly said 'friend.'

The robot instantaneously changed to a less aggressive posture and took on Mildred's voice and traits, "oh nothing Miss Cackle, just a potion went wrong because I added too much of one of the ingredients," it said politely.

Miss Cackle was convinced by this information that this really was Mildred; after all it was the sort of thing that made Mildred frequent her office. Then it occurred to her that it was lesson time.

" Mildred what are you doing wandering around, I doubt Miss Hardbroom let you out so get back to your lesson, and why do you have that broom with you?" she asked with irritation as she looked down over her angular glasses.

The mechanical brain worked out an answer in a split second, "Well Miss Cackle, I was looking for Miss Hardbroom as she ran out of our lesson crying, the only way to reverse the effect of the potion is to hit her with a broom, but I just can't seem to find her." Amelia processed what she had just heard, she had never in all her time of teaching heard of a cure like that before. What finally swayed her was that Miss Hardbroom had seemed in a bit of a state, but crying, was that true? She hadn't seen the woman's face but if so then Constance was more in need of help than she had expected.

"Come on Mildred let's go find her."


	2. Chapter 2 Undone boot laces are good

The pair split and went in opposite directions, Mildred going right at the end of the left corridor, Miss Cackle going left in the direction of her office. Upon passing the open door she noticed, much to her surprise, that it was not unoccupied. "Ruby, what are you doing in here? Why aren't you in potions?" she asked, curious as to why the young witch was without at least one of her friends; or as Miss Hardbroom dubbed them, partners in crime.

"Miss Hardbroom sent me here," the girl replied honestly,

" Why? Did you blow up the lab again? What was it this time, fish or trees?" Ruby laughed at the reminiscent words of her teacher.

"Neither Miss Cackle, I was sent out of chanting class after Miss Hardbroom came in and started talking about my 'latest technological escapade',"

"I see. And what is this escapade?" Miss Cackle asked in a serious voice, quite unlike her usual dulcet tones, and raised one wispy arched eyebrow. A thought suddenly occurred to her, 'the third years have chanting, not potions then, so what was Mildred really doing?' as the various scenarios brewed like a cauldron in her head Ruby answered her question.

"I don't know what she meant Miss Cackle."

"Oh don't you Ruby Cherrytree, well allow me to enlighten you," came the unmistakable voice of HB before she materialised out if thin air, as per usual,

"I meant your monstrous mechanical Mildred that has been trying to zap me since break time," the other two occupants of the room shared a glance, refraining from the urge to laugh as the idea played across their minds. Fuming Miss Hardbroom continued, laying her evidence before them hastily, "I recall that I failed to see Mildred in chanting, so I deduce that by some magic you turned her into an 'Anti-Hardbroom machine', am I right?"

Xxx

When the sound of HB's heels had faded and died Ruby turned to Maud, "What was all that about?" she asked, utterly perplexed by the latest accusation, before Maud could reply another person butted in on the conversation,

"Well what stupid thing have you done this time?" Ethel taunted from the back row,

"Oh shut up Ethel, she hasn't done anything." Enid snapped before Drusilla could add to the attack. Miss Crotchet sensed the tension rising and hastily stepped in to prevent the fight she could see brewing before her as Ethel and Enid sized each other up.

"Girls, girls let's not fight, music is about harmony and all this bickering is creating discord and destroying the peace," Maud managed to restrain Enid and pull her away from Ethel before she gave her nose a reason to be upturned. Miss Crotchet nervously drew closer as a precaution, (not that she was sure she could do anything if they did go for each other,) hoping to turn down the heat from boiling to a gentle simmer. "Right then once Mildred gets back we'll take it from the top, shall we."

As if on cue Mildred re-entered the class and joined the group who had moved to the back.

She surveyed the expressions that confronted her, "what's with all the serious faces? Did I Miss something?"

"you sure did," Maud informed her, whispering the tale as the rest of the class chanted 'eye of bat' in several different and entirely off keys.

"Wish I'd been there to see that, sounds extreme." Mildred sighed mournfully; the one time she had decided to get a drink HB had burst in like a lunatic, just her luck to miss something like that.

"Well what am I going to do about seeing Miss Cackle?" Ruby asked joining the conversation, unsure whether to shirk the deputy's order or not.

"You'd better go, if for nothing else then at least to find out what all the fuss is about." Jadu chipped in wisely.

They agreed with her and during the next chorus Ruby slipped away, she did have a valid reason at least if anyone asked.

Miss Crotchet failed to notice the absence of her student and the rest of the lesson passed without much of a hitch.

Xxx

"Mechanical Mildred, what do you mean Miss Hardbroom?" Miss Hardbroom pursed her lips, making them into a thin line of displeasure.

"I warned you earlier not to play dumb with me Ruby Cherrytree," she threatened, "and can you explain to me the whereabouts of Mildred Hubble when I was in your lesson?" she hummed as if daring ruby to contest her,

"She was getting a drink Miss Hardbroom; Miss Crotchet can confirm it." Constance tried to hide how stupid she felt behind a mask of anger. Folding her arms she left in the same manner that she came; leaving a more relaxed atmosphere behind her.

"I'd better go find her; she seems to be a little fragile today,"

"I am not," HB's voice echoed around the office as her head reappeared before vanishing again,

"Definitely fragile, now back to your lesson." she said as the bell rang. "Yes Miss Cackle." Ruby replied in the well practised monotonal fashion of a seasoned trouble maker.

Miss Cackle nearly fell over Mildred and the others as she exited the room. "Good gracious!" she exclaimed as they straightened up and pretended that they hadn't been listening at the keyhole. They had made their escape from the labours of chanting while Miss Crotchet was attempting to tune the harmonium (she wasn't to know that the strings had been cut by Enid and so was actually just winding the wires to no avail).

Xxx- _Elsewhere in the castle_

Miss Crotchet looked up after sticking her head inside the belly of the device, covered in dust and spiders, and was greeted by roars of laughter and applause. "Why thank you," she stammered, not sure why she was being applauded. Then she noticed that about a third of her class was missing, "weren't there more than this earlier?" the baffled chanting teacher asked, swinging her head from side to side dramatically, "where's Mildred and that lot gone?" Gloria Newt spoke up, (yes they had actually bribed her with sweets to lie for them) "They weren't meant to be here Miss Crotchet, they were actually first years skiving from extra potions," Miss Crotchet rubbed her temples in confusion, "So you're telling me that those girls and were never meant to be in my class at all and aren't even third years?" her head began to throb as she tried to process this, "but don't they wear the orange belts?" Gloria shook her head, "no, no they were definitely purple," she assured her teacher, who by now was certain her brain was about to explode. Before Lavinia could become any more confused she was saved by the bell. "Oh thank God for that," she said collapsing onto the harmonium stool with her head in her hands.

xxx- _Back at Miss Cackle's office_

"Ah Mildred, glad to see you're back to your usual colour," the witch greeted her enthusiastically, "no need to worry anymore I found Miss Hardbroom, it appears the potion's worn off and hitting her with a broom will no longer be necessary after all." Amelia deliberately acted as if the conversation she had just witnessed (let's face it she didn't really participate once HB arrived) had never happened, hoping to set things straight in her mind.

"I don't understand. What do you mean 'back to my usual colour' Miss Cackle, and why would I be hitting Miss Hardbroom with a broom?" Mildred inquired, her eyes narrowing as her brow creased; something that often happened when she was thinking hard.

Her teacher watched her behaviour, noticing the familiar expression of confusion coupled with the subconscious tugging of plaits, indicating that she knew something but wasn't going to share her ideas.

At that moment a piercing scream filled the school, echoing and re-echoing off the bare walls until it sounded like a thousand screams from a thousand different places. Amelia started, she recognised that scream anywhere; Constance.

Xxx

After her humiliation Constance restored to her favourite pastime; Hubble hunting. Silently she stalked the corridors, scouting out the trouble makers as the bell rang for the next lesson. She gave out five detentions, three warnings and around twelve thousand lines to be done over the next week; vastly improving her mood as she watched the first and second years scurrying for the safety of their classroom. She smiled; maybe this day would improve after all, although she still hadn't achieved her main aim. Mildred was still on the loose somewhere in the school, but how could she win against her? Maybe the standard spell to fix most things would work, it was worth a try.

To her misfortune it wasn't her that found the mechanical Mildred; it found her.

As Constance was absorbed deep in her own thoughts she had wandered to the entrance hall, her feet carrying her without consent or prior knowledge. One minute she was by the chanting room, next she was facing the wooden panels of the main stairs. 'How did I get here?' she asked herself.

"Hello Miss Hardbroom," came a voice from behind her. She half turned, one arm across her chest the other perpendicular to it, saying in a bored voice,

"oh hello Mildr..." she froze in horror; it had found her.

The contraption smiled at her wickedly and raised a hand to point at her. Knowing what was to come Constance opened her mouth and let out a piercing shriek.

Xxx

"Constance!" cried Amelia, moving faster than she had ever moved in her life towards the 'original' source of the sound, (and I use the term original loosely as she is actually guessing the location of her colleague rather than knowing it). The others tore after her, hot on her heels until something in Mildred's head clicked. "I know what it is!" she announced, grabbing Ruby by the arm and jerking her backwards, "What is it Millie? This really isn't the time." "I know what it is, the mechanical Mildred, I know what it is. Follow me." She said earnestly as the others disappeared from sight round the corner. Ruby looked doubtful, "Come on just trust me," she implored dragging the doubter with her as she hurtled in the direction of the library.

Hastily pulling back the rug Mildred lifted the trap door to the DOBS hideout, fumbling in her effort to be as quick as possible; Miss Hardbroom's life now depended on it.

The pair descended rapidly to the room below, all the way Ruby questioning her on what she knew. They burst into the room to find it empty. "Quickly over here." Mildred called from the desk, riffling through the papers to find the blank one that had once contained the AH 2000. "What are you looking for Millie?" Mildred explained as she searched, "you remember the anti-Hardbroom machine, well I think somehow I brought it too life and now its chasing Miss Hardbroom. Oh where is it?" she lamented, aware that time was of the essence here. "Extreme," said Ruby bending down to pick up the one sheet that had fallen to the floor, "Is it this one?" she asked, presenting the page to Mildred. "Yes that's it, quick we have to find her."

"Then what are you going to do?" Ruby called after her as she ran to the stairs,

"Don't know, I'll think of something," came the reply.

Ruby rolled her eyes and chased after her; Millie always was a leap before you think kind of person and now was no exception.

Xxx

When Amelia burst into the entrance hall Constance was backed against the panels of the main stairs, breathing rapidly with fear in her eyes. It took her a few seconds to notice the mechanical Mildred looming over her wielding the broom like a makeshift club, but when she did she sent the weapon flying with a quick spell. "Mildred, if indeed that is who you are, I demand that you stop this at once." Miss Cackle boomed, drawing herself up and striding over to stand in front of the cowering Constance.

It raised an eyebrow, then a hand, and a lightning bolt shot from its fingers. The two teachers dropped to the floor, a shower of sparks raining down on them as the bolt struck the wood, scorching the surface. Amelia sent a rapid hex in its direction, fleeing with Constance while it was distracted, and making it to the courtyard unscathed. "It's no... good Amelia, that thing's ... resistant to magic," Constance panted as they hid behind the broom shed. Another shower of sparks fell from above as it tried to spook them out of hiding. "What can we do then?"

"Pray for a miracle." Amelia whispered. There came a groan of metal bending and the pair looked skywards; they'd been found. Above them with hands on hips was the Mildred, bending over the gap with a grin on its face. Nothing was going to prevent her killing her target now.

"WAIT A MINUTE!" Mildred screamed as she and Ruby burst into the courtyard brandishing the paper. The machine slowly turned to face them, treading on its undone bootlaces as it did so and slowly toppled from the roof with a loud crash.

Mildred winced, "thank God that's never happened to me." She murmured, raising the paper so that the flat surface pointed at her other self as it clambered to its feet. "Now return." She commanded, praying that her suspicions were right and that this would really work. The machine froze, then returned in a particle stream back to the blueprint. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

She had done it.

The two teachers emerged from their hiding place, joining their pupils in their celebration, "Well Mildred," Miss Hardbroom said with a smile, "thank heavens you never do up your boot laces."


End file.
